What If I Came Sooner?
by NintendoFanCS
Summary: In an alternative universe, Protag/MC chooses to check on Sayori before going to school rather than wait until seeing her poem. As he enters her room, he is met with an unpleasant surprise, and he wonders if he can save her before it's too late.
1. A Horrible Discovery

It's the day of the festival.

Of all days, I'd expect this to be the one where I'd be walking to school with Sayori, but Sayori isn't answering her phone. I considered going to her house to wake her up, but decided that's a little too much.

Meanwhile, the preparations for the event should be nearly complete. The banner Yuri and I painted is dry, and I gently rolled it up to take with me. She sent a pleasant text to remind me not to forget anything, and I reassured her.

Funnily enough, I probably feel the same way as Natsuki about the event. I'm more excited for it to be over so I can spend time with Yuri and Sayori at the festival. But knowing Monika, I'm sure the event will be great, too.

I start walking to school, brushing a brown strand of hair out of my face as the wind blows past. Minutes pass and I notice that I didn't hear Sayori's shouting of "wait!" or the like as I usually do around this time. I frown. That's odd. Sayori oversleeps quite often but she usually catches up.

I recall my conversation with her yesterday. It took a lot of pushing to get Sayori to give me a chance to help her. She eventually gave in… or did she? Maybe she only said that to make me stop worrying. No… Sayori wouldn't lie to me. Not about something so serious… right?

More time passes. Sayori should definitely be here by now. And I realize something. I know her; she'd never miss the festival. Something is wrong. Something is very wrong.

I stop in my tracks, swallowing hard. I need to check on her. I need to make sure she's OK. That's what boyfriends do. I spin around and start sprinting the other way, heading for her house.

I reach Sayori's house and knock on her door. I don't expect an answer, since she's not picking up her phone, either. Like yesterday, I open the door and let myself in.

"Sayori?" She really is a heavy sleeper… I swallow. I can't believe I ended up doing this after all. Waking her up in her own house… that really is something a boyfriend would do, isn't it? In any case… it just feels right.

Outside Sayori's room, I knock on her door. "Sayori? Wake up, dummy..."

I freeze as I hear a noise. I press the side of my head against the door, listening harder. I recognize the sound of something wooden being pushed across a carpet-a chair, perhaps? So Sayori is awake. What is she doing?

I consider opening her door, but wouldn't that be a breach of privacy? So I decide against it.

I hear a creak. It sounded as if someone-Sayori, of course-was stepping onto the chair. What on Earth is Sayori up to? Is this some odd coping mechanism? I picture her jumping off the chair, squealing, "whee!" in excitement. It sounds right up her alley.

But then what I hear next confirms this is not the case. I can hear Sayori's voice; she's making loud, gasping noises. I gasp myself.

Sayori is crying.

And then realization hits me and my heart crawls into my throat. I know what she is doing. And my hands start to shake violently, my breathing becomes rapid. No. No. No!

"Sayori!" I yell. No answer. My unease at the thought of opening her door without consent vanishes and I grab the doorknob, yanking it open.

And I shriek at what I see next.

Sayori is standing on the chair in the middle of her room. Her sky blue eyes are wide and fixed on me, making her look as if she were a deer in front of the headlights of a car. Her face is damp with tears. She's still in her pajamas and her hair is a mess, evidently uncombed.

But what made me shriek was the fact that, above her, a rope was tied to the ceiling fan in a noose, the loop around her neck. She is holding it in her hands and one leg is in the air, nearly touching the backside of the chair she is standing on. Clearly, she was about to kick it.

We remain frozen for several moments, staring at each other in dismay. I cannot believe my eyes. Sayori wouldn't do this. She is a happy, energetic girl, full of joy. No, that was all a masquerade, I remember. Sayori is depressed. Miserable. And now, she is about to kill herself.

"No!" I scream, dashing towards her.

But Sayori gasps. To my horror, she shuts her eyes tight, and, with a loud sob, she violently kicks the chair back and it falls to the ground.

Sayori falls but is caught by the noose. Her eyes fling open and she chokes, thrashing at the air. She looks terrified as she tries to breathe but cannot, as the noose is suffocating her. Sayori clasps her hands on the tight rope, trying desperately to free herself as her legs kick at the air. She was clearly regretting her decision.

I choke. "S-Sayori!" I sob. Why am I just standing here? I have to save her.

I stand the chair up. "Step on the chair, please!"

Sayori glances at it and kicks it down again.

"No!" I gasp. Sayori hadn't changed her mind about wanting to live. She is simply trying to out of instinct. But Sayori is still suicidal. She still wants to die.

But I am not about to let her.

But what can I do? I need something sharp. A knife. Yes, a knife. I need to cut the rope and free her.

"Hang on, Sayori!" I cry, running out of her room as fast as I can. I try to remember where the kitchen is. Besides her room, I haven't been anywhere in her house in a long time. But then I find it and I start frantically opening and closing drawers to find the silverware.

"Knives, knives… where the hell are the knives?" I mutter, breathing hard. Finally, I find the right drawer and I search for the sharpest knife there is. I find a big one and run back to her room. As a result of my carelessness, the blade grazes my side and I wince, but I try to ignore it.

I burst into her room again and my heart sinks. Sayori's eyes are half-open, glazed, and she barely struggles now. She pants weakly, her face as red as blood. Speaking of blood, it drips off her fingertips, probably from fiddling with the rope. I swallow again. Sayori is nearly dead.

I don't waste time. I pick the chair back up again. "Please... just stand on the chair," I plead.

Sayori doesn't seem to even register my sentence.

"Sayori, please!"

She looks back at me, and then at the chair again. With a whimper, she slowly pushes her foot towards the chair, knocking it over again.

"Sayori, why?" I ask softly. I pick the chair up again and stand on it myself. I begin to hack at the rope, trying desperately to break it. I then saw at it like mad. Sayori stops struggling, going limp, and her breaths are very delayed. I saw harder. "Stay with me," I say softly. "Don't give up, Sayori. Please, don't give up."

All of a sudden, the rope snaps and Sayori plummets to the ground. Her eyes widen and she gasps loudly for air, sucking in as much of it as she can.

I jump down, slide the broken loop of her neck, and massage it. A red line is marked around her neck from the noose. I don't say a word as I wait for Sayori to catch her breath.

Sayori does and she sighs. She looks at me with raw anguish, tears brimming in her blue eyes. She bursts into tears and throws her arms around me, burying her head against my chest. I place my arms around her as well, resting my chin on her head.

Sayori sobs for several minutes before she sits up again, swiping a tear from her eye with a bloody finger. She grimaces and whimpers in pain, glancing at it before shifting her gaze back at me, her eyes filled with despair.

"Why did you stop me?" She says softly, her voice sounding weary and broken.

In disbelief, I'm not sure how to respond for a moment. "Why shouldn't have I?!" I blurt, frustrated and angry. "I almost lost you! Don't you know how much you mean to me?! How do you think I would have felt if the person I care about more than anything in the world committed suicide?!"

Sayori flinches, hanging her head low. She doesn't reply, but she cries softly, placing her head in her hands. She winces again and lifts her fingers.

I regret my words immediately. "Sayori, I'm sorry," I say earnestly. "It's just… I was so scared. I love you; you know that. If I lost you, my life would be a wreck."

"I know!" Sayori blurts, jerking her head up. Her eyes are red from crying. "I know. And I'm so sorry. I couldn't stand it anymore. The dejection, the guilt… I'm a horrible person. I made you worry about me… I didn't want to be a burden anymore. I didn't want you to spend the rest of your life trying in vain to help me when you could enjoy it with someone like Yuri, Natsuki, or Monika. They're not let-downs like me…"

"Sayori…" I can't believe it. Sayori wasn't trying to abandon me at all. She wanted to make my life easier. "Sayori…" I repeat. "I have no problem with helping you, even for the rest of my life. I want you to be happy. I told you this. As for Yuri, Natsuki and Monika… they'll always be my friends. But you're my best friend, Sayori. And, well, my girlfriend. I love you more than all of them combined. And even if I didn't like helping you-which I do!-I value your happiness over mine."

Sayori is quiet a moment. "Really?" She murmurs.

"Absolutely," I say without hesitation, steadily meeting her gaze.

A sad smile crosses her face. "I… I love you, too. And thank you." She frowns again, gazing out the window. It had to be at least 10:00. "We're late for school," She says gloomily.

"I don't care," I tell her. "I'd rather be here with you."

"What about the festival?"

"Do you want to go?"

"If you don't, I'm fine-"

"Sayori," I interject. "Do you want to go?"

"I do," She says. "I've been looking forward to it still. I was sad believing I'd never get to go since I'd be…" She trails off.

I shudder involuntarily. "I understand," I say. "You were looking forward to our event."

"Actually, I'm more looking forward to spending time with you at the festival afterwards…" Sayori admits. "Not that I'm not excited for it," She adds quickly. "But, well… the poem I have to present is… not really want I want to read to the school…"

I raise an eyebrow in confusion. "I read your poem and I think it's fine," I protest.

"No. I-I changed it… to something else," She tells me. "I was in a terrible headspace yesterday and I made a much darker poem. I already decided to kill myself at the time, so I didn't think I was going to have to share it. In a way, it's a bit like a suicide note…" She averts her blue gaze. "I threw the old one away."

"Maybe you can write a new one?" I suggest.

"I don't know if I'll have time," She reminds me. "And I want it to be good…"

"I can help," I offer. "If you'd like."

Sayori smiles weakly. "Thank you," She says before giving me a hug again.

And so Sayori and I write a poem together. It takes a few hours, but we work hard to get it done. Finally, we finish writing it. We read it.

"What do you think?" She asks.

"I think it's perfect," I say. I really meant it. I never enjoyed writing poems before, but I really did this time.

"So do I," Sayori agrees. "I guess we oughta go… the festival will be starting soon and I don't wanna miss it." She pauses. "I'm going to have to wear a scarf, though. If people find out I tried to hang myself, I mean…"

"Yeah," I agree. "I know." Not all the students at the school are necessarily nice. If some of them find out, Sayori might find some very unhelpful notes on her locker.

I stand up and Sayori does as well. She walks over to her closet and rummages inside, pulling out a white, fluffy scarf. Sayori wraps it around her neck and comes back over, slipping her hand into mine as we exit her bedroom and her house. We begin to walk, not saying anything.

"Sayori," I find myself saying after a long time.

She looks at me. "Yes?"

"Can you promise me that… you won't try to kill yourself again?" I ask softly.

She doesn't say anything for about a minute as we keep walking. "Yes… yes, I promise," Sayori promises, meeting my gaze. I knew she meant it.

And we don't say anything else for the rest of the walk.


	2. The Festival

"OK," Monika says. "Finally, Sayori is going to present her poem." She smiles and leads Sayori to the stage. I follow.

"We're going to present her poem together," I announce.

And so we start to read…

After the poem, the audience claps. Before, many of them seemed half-hearted about their applause, but they really seem to enjoy it this time.

Sayori smiles elatedly, her blue eyes sparkling.

We exit the stage.

Natsuki runs up to Sayori. "Hey Sayori," She says. "I didn't bring this up earlier but I, uh, read your poem earlier-the other one… it was scary. I was worried about you."

"I as well," Yuri says, following. "I for one write dark poems myself, but I knew that you don't like to write depressing poetry. Something had to be wrong if a cheerful girl like you wrote something like that…"

Sayori smiles nervously. "Oh, don't mind that… I was just in a bad mood. Nothing to worry about."

"You sure?" Natsuki asks skeptically.

"Positive!"

"OK…" Yuri says.

"Alright, Sayori," Natsuki says. "Let's go get some cupcakes." She looks at me, her friendly gaze becoming colder. "You can have one too… but only one! Got it?!"

I suppress a laugh. Natsuki always acted like this, but I was used to it. Now it's kinda funny. But Natsuki wouldn't react very rationally if I laughed. "Got it," I tell her.

She nods and whips around, Sayori and Yuri following. I start after them, but I feel a hand touch my shoulder. I stiffen and turn around, meeting the emerald green eyes of Monika.

"May I have a word with you?" She asks.

I glance back at my friends, but nod slowly. Monika leads me away where there aren't as many people.

"I noticed you and Sayori were very late today," She remarks. "And I read her poem. Is everything OK?"

"Y-Yeah," I say, not wanting to think about it. It was haunting. "Everything is fine."

"I'm glad to hear it," She says cheerily. "It'd be a shame if Sayori had succeeded in killing herself. I'd miss her."

"So would I-wait, what?!" I exclaim. "H-How do you know about that?!"

She blinks. "Sayori told me."

"Sayori didn't tell anyone; I was with her the whole time!"

Monika frowns. "It doesn't matter. Anyway, let's hang out at the festival together."

"I was going to hang out with Sayori," I say.

Monika's gaze becomes a bit odd. "Didn't she nearly abandon you?"

"No!" I gasp. "She thought she was doing what was best for me and she knows now that it wasn't."

"Right. Of course." She smiles again. "Well, perhaps we should spend another day together. After all… you may find I'm the only one available someday." She waves and walks away.

Her words have sent chills down my spine. What does she mean by that? And how did she know about Sayori's suicide attempt? Something is screwy here.

"Hey!" It's Natsuki, and I realize she is now next to me. "Are you gonna come eat a cupcake or not? I mean… I don't care if you don't, but I need to know how many I can save for later..."

"I am," I tell her.

"Well, come on then!"

"I'm coming," I assure her. I follow Natsuki to the cupcake table, glancing back uneasily where Monika had left before.

Something tells me this isn't the last time something bad is going to happen.


End file.
